Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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