i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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