69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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