Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
As shirtless as possible
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
