Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
