His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
where are you?
Hypothermia
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
