you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
