My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize