i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
