totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize