The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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