worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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