Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
