so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
