Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize