I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
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I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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