All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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