honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
