Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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