You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
