My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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