we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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