dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
