D3 body, D1 cock
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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