it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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