Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize