Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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