i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
