Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
