Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
