In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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