I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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