She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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