Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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