That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
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She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
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I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I supernannyed him into submission
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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