He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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