She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize