I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rumble strips road head = magical
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize