I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
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The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
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Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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