Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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