wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
