His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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