shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
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I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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