my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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