"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
