Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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