I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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