I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
