Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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