Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.