You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
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I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
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Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
