You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?