Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
