yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
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I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
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Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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