Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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