How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
