He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
