The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
